Change Your life

What does our partner see in us ? Using the bathroom scale and looking in the mirror is always a great reality check. The other day I watched a show with a guy who had changed his life through weight loss suplements and had made millions through mail orders not to mention the get rich quick schemes that investors stand to make 40% return on their money. CRAP all of it. We get old and if you have kids you get poor, stressed and overweight all at the same time.

I am sick to death of these quick fix programs from weight loss to financial freedom, not to mention the get rich bastards who prey on the desperate and vulnerable. I’ve decided that no goal is achieved without hard work, you have to walk and workout, save money to make money, but slowly and patiently.

Life is about quality, happiness and what ever you consider you need to be in your confort zone is what you need to achieve. The other day all I needed was some fish wrapped in newspaper and soft chips and sitting on the beach with my family. God could have taken me then. The lesson I think is one coffin does not fit all, when you get to the end of your life which just might be today how would you have lived today differently .


Relationship Workouts


If you think that moving in together is going to easy, with double the income, double the amount of people cleaning and looking after the apartment or house, double the fun. Well its all true until the first argument about the dirty dish in the sink. Moving in together or marriage also means double the mess, clutter and just stuff lying around.

My wife and I have worked out that it’s not going to be the kids nor finances and not even the dirty dishes that our divorced friends seemed to have argue about, but rather that they gave up, they simply went one round and threw in the towel.

You see like lightning and most elements found in nature, we humans tend to also take the shortest and quickest route to what we feel is the only answer.

Dont be lazy, work at it, give each other time, the toothpaste left open, the toilet seat left up even the underpants left on the floor somewhere between the bed and the shower are all going to slowly disappear when you realise that life is not about the small stuff and partnerships that build solid healthy foundations are going to last the longest.

Date Night
Date Night


Relationship Seesaw

If you are going to keep your relationship healthy one of the most important things to remember is to stop counting. Stop counting the number of times you argued, packed the dishwasher, lifted the lid, picked up the kids, made dinner or were intimate. Life is not a competition and its never going to balance. Living together is simple, surprise each other by swinging past the deli, fetch the dry-cleaning, buy flowers or by leave a loving note.

If you look hard enough, you going to find the cracks, a relationship needs to be looked at like a unfinished art work, each day you going to paint over the cracked paint and forgive.

An excellent exercise is to take an elastic band and place it on your wrist, every time you want to say or do something hurtful pull on the elastic band and let it slap your wrist. Men each time you lift the brush to the canvas, remember how much you time and love you have invested in your artwork.

Who wins loses

Ever have an argument with your partner and try and figure out who won, usually in a mans brain we lose, even when we win. The idea that men can argue on multiple levels with a pinch of sarcasm and innuendoes is madness, we men are simple folk. It’s not always important to win, I looked over at my wife, with hands on hips and a strange look in her eyes that can only be described as hell freezing over to realize that I should just say sorry and hug her, it’s going to be a lot easier on me for the next week.

We need to understand as men, that women need us to climb out of the tree and understand that there are moments in a relationship that will define the us as a couple, and if we going to write this novel together some of the chapters are going to have to start with “And she smiled….”

Schedule a Date Night

Ever have one of those weeks, when you wish the world would stop and let you off. Marriage for a man and I’m sure many woman can be that sort of merry go round sometimes when we go from kids to work to parental duties and so on. One of the most important aspects of any marriage I believe is “space”. Let me elaborate, when you wife needs time with her girlfriends to go shopping and lattes or have her hair done or play a sport, give her space. When men need to play golf, watch TV, go fishing or time to act like idiots with the boys, give us our space. But sometimes as a couple we need to share no reserve a “space” from the world,  “Date Night“. A night when you can be a couple, reminisce about the good days, talk about all the magical moments that brought you together and what you as a couple have achieved together.

For the evening to be a success make sure you plan the evening together, wear a suit, buy flowers, book an expensive restaurant, make sure the kids are at friends.

Don’t take away independence, make sure you incorporate it into your marriage.


Before I die Photo- Check and done
Before I die Photo- Check and done

A man can’t know what is to be a woman

If you think we were being insensitive as men, when you come home after having a bad day and we did not pick up on it, it’s because we simply dont look for complications or we are tired too or maybe we had a bad day, the bills are stressing us out or we havent eaten, we need the bathroom, there is something interesting on tv, the ball is in the air and about to be touched down, go through the hoop and we are sorry. We would like you to tell us you’ve had a bad day, and leave out the details. Men simply dont care about the dynamics of all the personalities that work in your office. We do however care about you, and by pouring a glass of wine settling in for a cuddle on the couch is something we do well. The idea that we need to be on the same emotional plain as you is ridiculous, we are however in the same house and by not expecting men to understand menstruating cramps, or the sensation of feeling bloated, can do wonders for any relationship.


If he’s cheap he won’t change

A man rarely changes his spots, if he’s cheap and your first date is a Mc Donalds drive through, you probably going to end up in a caravan park alone or worse supporting a “husbchild” ( half man half child). Don’t be fooled by his boyish good looks and being the centre of the party at college level. A real man is usually the quietly confident character having conversation on the balcony and is always dressed for the occasion, wether it’s sandals and a pair of billabong shorts and a T-shirt at the beach/pool or a dinner suit at  restaurant.

If you looking for a life partner, forget the pages of facebook or cosmos find the perfect man survey, all you need to do is find a guy who has the generally similarly interestes and no  they don’t have to be necessarily identically to yours, we are quite happy to sit and watch a tennis game or take in an art gallery. A simple rule is to start with a man who has clean shoes.

We don’t grow on trees, so when you find one of us don’t hold back we don’t understand woman, who play games like playing hard to get, simple is far better. Tell us what you want from the start of the relationship and most men will tell you wether they want something serious or not. Just a hint if there is no “I love you” early on, he is probably just trying to get lucky, and it’s quite normal to not to want to snuggle after every and anything (you work it out!)

A long Coffee or a short Latte
A long Coffee or a short Latte

I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t.
Martha Quinn

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