That Something Special

In every relationship there are special moments, moments that only two people who love each other would understand, a glance, footsie on the couch, a soft word blown in the ear while shaving. A connection that can only be explained as special, but we sometimes share too much with other people outside of our relationships which leads to influences who where not there when you met nor the first night you kissed, who don’t understand the feeling you felt the first time your eyes locked. Our friends should never be allowed to navigate our ship they should be there to support and listen.

Don’t erode that special connection between you and your partner, if your relationships trust has been eroded and other people are over staying their welcome, then stop and change, take a time out. I have found that on a few occasions my wife and I have just needed a weekend away to regenerate, to get away from all the static noise and sometimes to remember what we first saw in each other.

“Relationships dont always make sense. Especially from the outside”
― Sarah Dessen, Along for the Ride




Mirror Mirror on the wall

Ever look in the mirror and get the feeling that somewhere along the line you took a wrong turn. I woke up this morning staggered into the bathroom and started to shave and as I placed the razor on the side of the sink I noticed a stranger looking back. One argument too many, bills, kids, insurance, mortgage and work will age a man. If you feel like life needs a reboot take your wife on a weekend getaway, talk on the road and reboot old flames. Dont allow yourself to become that stranger looking back at you in the mirror.

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.
Leo Buscaglia


Relationship Seesaw

If you are going to keep your relationship healthy one of the most important things to remember is to stop counting. Stop counting the number of times you argued, packed the dishwasher, lifted the lid, picked up the kids, made dinner or were intimate. Life is not a competition and its never going to balance. Living together is simple, surprise each other by swinging past the deli, fetch the dry-cleaning, buy flowers or by leave a loving note.

If you look hard enough, you going to find the cracks, a relationship needs to be looked at like a unfinished art work, each day you going to paint over the cracked paint and forgive.

An excellent exercise is to take an elastic band and place it on your wrist, every time you want to say or do something hurtful pull on the elastic band and let it slap your wrist. Men each time you lift the brush to the canvas, remember how much you time and love you have invested in your artwork.

A Stranger In My Bed

Ever wake-up and stare at the stranger that lies peacefully sleeping next to you, now I say stranger not because you just had a one night stand with a woman you just met at the local pub/club, this stranger is usually the woman you’ve been married to or been dating for a couple of months and even sometimes years. We hate the fact that our wives get old, grumpy, frumpy, grey, and less patient with our failings, yes OUR failings.

Lets face it men have lots of insecurities even if they don’t admit, we want to believe that all woman find us attractive, and that we age better than woman, when we look in a mirror we see what we want to see and we allow our imaginations to fill-in and in many cases blur the signs of ageing.

I find a lot of the men I know who are separated or angry about life are usually because of the fact that they never achieved anything in their professional lives or havent  grown at the same pace as their wives, in maturity and mental image age.

In my younger years I was always taken by how different woman would look once they had removed their dating paint or clubbing masks, and allowed us men to see their real and personal sides.

If ever there was a Bible verse that you needed when married it would be Philippians 4:6. If you are a young married couple or even just trying to find your way through the prickly dating months you going to need to prayers.

There are three layers I believe for men to any relationship.

1 Prickly Dating weeks – men are selfish and we are only interested in the physical relationship.

2. Potting Months – men look for a woman we can spend time with, and find interesting.

3. Replanting years – A partner we choose to move in with and maybe kids.

New Years but Old Boxes

This is a great time of the year to sort out some of the old boxes in the mental attic, take this time to put things on the table, don’t enter into a new year with old wounds. Don’t allow old arguments or personal irritations to follow your relationship into the new year. Sit down with your partner and make a list, talk about changes you both would like to see happen in the new year, and in some cases is it worth going into the new year as a couple.

I know this sounds harsh, but not all relationships just miraculously will fix themselves, you are both doing yourselves and those around you no favours if you don’t tell each other what it is that you would like to see change. I have said it a number of times men are simple folk, we sometimes don’t know that what we doing might be irritating or bothering you.

Make that kiss at midnight one of passion but at the same time let it be a seal of a promise to forget old arguments and not bring them up in the new year and to allow change to take place in order to save this relationship.

God Bless and Happy New year to all.

Support your marriage
Support your Marriage

Men need to feel in control, if you take that away from us we no longer feel like the head of the house. Most men are not male chauvinists pigs, we understand the fact that a relationship is 50/ 50 and sometimes 80 / 20 (either way). Undertand a mans brain, if you want us to think or feel what you feeling, tell us, show us, draw a picture, but by trying to dominate the relationship and make everything equatable you belittle the man in your life, not to mention you inflate resentment at the same time.

Love being a wife, have a career, study just don’t step on us as you do it we would rather carry you on our shoulders in support.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton

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