I Trust You

The three most important words you will ever need in a relationship, in your religion, and in yourself is “I Trust You”

If you love her trust that she will always put you first and by doing this you will be caught when you fall, you will be cared for when you are sick, and when you and your partner are old fogeys sitting on the porch 50 years from now the foundational seeds of your love would have had their roots from seeds called TRUST.

Relationships start with two pods that float together and find a small sidewalk crack to call a home. Mathematically and through impossible odds they should never meet by chance, but they do, you do and when you do don’t let go hold on tight, it’s an amazing ride if you LOVE, TRUST and CATCH each other when you fall.

Wild Horses

Wild horses is a great analogy for living together, when men and women move in together, there can only be three outcomes, the first being the woman takes the wild stalion and trys to turn him into “my little pony”, or the man trophies the woman but he still wants to run free, or and by far the most successful outcome they simply live on the same farm, with no other horses on the inside of the fence, but still allowing each other the room to run and get used to the idea, friends and family left to visiting from across the fence.

The reason men bolt or feel caged-in is the fact that for the first time they are answerable to someone else, who wants them to change immediately, look only in their direction and stop being what every cell in their bodies are telling them feels unnatural.

We know why we chose you as a partner, we want this lifestyle , so give us time to adjust and love you.

Taking for granted

I remember reading a article about an 80 year old man on his death bed and posed with the question “if you had your life over what would you change ?” , his response was I wished I’d loved more.

Dont take your relationship for granted, it seems like the one thing we tend to neglect is family. If you think your partner knows you love and appreciate them so you don’t have to tell them you’re wrong. Hold your partner and kids today let them know how much you love them.

Why is it that we spend more time trying to make sure that our bosses or co-workers like us but spend so little time with our kids and partner whom we love.

At the end of our lives, who do we want at our bedside?

An example to all of us
An example to all of us

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Ever look in the mirror and get the feeling that somewhere along the line you took a wrong turn. I woke up this morning staggered into the bathroom and started to shave and as I placed the razor on the side of the sink I noticed a stranger looking back. One argument too many, bills, kids, insurance, mortgage and work will age a man. If you feel like life needs a reboot take your wife on a weekend getaway, talk on the road and reboot old flames. Dont allow yourself to become that stranger looking back at you in the mirror.

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.
Leo Buscaglia

DSCF1032

If today was your last

As men sometimes we need a wake-up call, if you looked at your children, wife or friends, and started the next thought with “if today was your last day”, is this how you would leave the house, is this what you would say or is this the last memory that you would want your family to have when they think of you.

Don’t squander the opportunity to spend time with your kids, treat your wife as if it was your first date, remember that evening when you pulled out all the stops, including her chair. Instead of giving your wife a goodbye wave, hug her and kiss for a minute. Work can wait; engage in a meaningful conversation with the kids.

Are your friends really that important, that you need to rush out the door to that all-important golf match, meeting or BBQ? If any of them died to day, you wont get another 30 seconds to love them.

Dune Riding
Dune Riding with Son 

 

Wherever the destinations may be, is entirely up to you.

Marriage is an incredible journey, the fantastic thing about this journey is you have no idea where you will end up in the future. How many young couples enter into marriage based on short term ideals or imagery yes imagery, understand that no matter how much money, medical procedures or special teas you drink the woman you married is going to get old and have no illusion your buff chest wont last forever. You need to know that your husband is going to leave bad smells in the bathroom and is probably going to leave underwear on the floor. Get used to the idea that we get old, fat and wrinkled, but together.

We going to fight, some inconsequential, some pretty important, but these arguments are going to shape the valley we call married life, when it comes to arguing the important rule to remember is trying to not go to bed before a resolution or a solution and most definitely a sorry has been reached, I have learnt that it takes a mature, large, and in love partner to know when you’re wrong and to say sorry.

No one said life is easy, Kids are hard work, Marriage is hard work, falling in love is easy but staying in love like an old tattoo takes commitment.

Schedule a Date Night

Ever have one of those weeks, when you wish the world would stop and let you off. Marriage for a man and I’m sure many woman can be that sort of merry go round sometimes when we go from kids to work to parental duties and so on. One of the most important aspects of any marriage I believe is “space”. Let me elaborate, when you wife needs time with her girlfriends to go shopping and lattes or have her hair done or play a sport, give her space. When men need to play golf, watch TV, go fishing or time to act like idiots with the boys, give us our space. But sometimes as a couple we need to share no reserve a “space” from the world,  “Date Night“. A night when you can be a couple, reminisce about the good days, talk about all the magical moments that brought you together and what you as a couple have achieved together.

For the evening to be a success make sure you plan the evening together, wear a suit, buy flowers, book an expensive restaurant, make sure the kids are at friends.

Don’t take away independence, make sure you incorporate it into your marriage.

 

Before I die Photo- Check and done
Before I die Photo- Check and done

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