In every relationship there are special moments, moments that only two people who love each other would understand, a glance, footsie on the couch, a soft word blown in the ear while shaving. A connection that can only be explained as special, but we sometimes share too much with other people outside of our relationships which leads to influences who where not there when you met nor the first night you kissed, who don’t understand the feeling you felt the first time your eyes locked. Our friends should never be allowed to navigate our ship they should be there to support and listen.
Don’t erode that special connection between you and your partner, if your relationships trust has been eroded and other people are over staying their welcome, then stop and change, take a time out. I have found that on a few occasions my wife and I have just needed a weekend away to regenerate, to get away from all the static noise and sometimes to remember what we first saw in each other.
“Relationships dont always make sense. Especially from the outside”
― Sarah Dessen, Along for the Ride
What does our partner see in us ? Using the bathroom scale and looking in the mirror is always a great reality check. The other day I watched a show with a guy who had changed his life through weight loss suplements and had made millions through mail orders not to mention the get rich quick schemes that investors stand to make 40% return on their money. CRAP all of it. We get old and if you have kids you get poor, stressed and overweight all at the same time.
I am sick to death of these quick fix programs from weight loss to financial freedom, not to mention the get rich bastards who prey on the desperate and vulnerable. I’ve decided that no goal is achieved without hard work, you have to walk and workout, save money to make money, but slowly and patiently.
Life is about quality, happiness and what ever you consider you need to be in your confort zone is what you need to achieve. The other day all I needed was some fish wrapped in newspaper and soft chips and sitting on the beach with my family. God could have taken me then. The lesson I think is one coffin does not fit all, when you get to the end of your life which just might be today how would you have lived today differently .
I remember reading a article about an 80 year old man on his death bed and posed with the question “if you had your life over what would you change ?” , his response was I wished I’d loved more.
Dont take your relationship for granted, it seems like the one thing we tend to neglect is family. If you think your partner knows you love and appreciate them so you don’t have to tell them you’re wrong. Hold your partner and kids today let them know how much you love them.
Why is it that we spend more time trying to make sure that our bosses or co-workers like us but spend so little time with our kids and partner whom we love.
At the end of our lives, who do we want at our bedside?
This is a great time of the year to sort out some of the old boxes in the mental attic, take this time to put things on the table, don’t enter into a new year with old wounds. Don’t allow old arguments or personal irritations to follow your relationship into the new year. Sit down with your partner and make a list, talk about changes you both would like to see happen in the new year, and in some cases is it worth going into the new year as a couple.
I know this sounds harsh, but not all relationships just miraculously will fix themselves, you are both doing yourselves and those around you no favours if you don’t tell each other what it is that you would like to see change. I have said it a number of times men are simple folk, we sometimes don’t know that what we doing might be irritating or bothering you.
Make that kiss at midnight one of passion but at the same time let it be a seal of a promise to forget old arguments and not bring them up in the new year and to allow change to take place in order to save this relationship.
If you think we were being insensitive as men, when you come home after having a bad day and we did not pick up on it, it’s because we simply dont look for complications or we are tired too or maybe we had a bad day, the bills are stressing us out or we havent eaten, we need the bathroom, there is something interesting on tv, the ball is in the air and about to be touched down, go through the hoop and we are sorry. We would like you to tell us you’ve had a bad day, and leave out the details. Men simply dont care about the dynamics of all the personalities that work in your office. We do however care about you, and by pouring a glass of wine settling in for a cuddle on the couch is something we do well. The idea that we need to be on the same emotional plain as you is ridiculous, we are however in the same house and by not expecting men to understand menstruating cramps, or the sensation of feeling bloated, can do wonders for any relationship.