My wife found me in the recycle section

As I walked the long avenues of my local hardware store this morning I noticed I was the only guy in the store for one and the only person buying a hammer because it looked cool most customers were woman and buying practical items like locks and taps and it dawned on me.

What happened to when Men just used to be men, no matter what colour, religion or economic strata of society you’d come from in the past men had a place we knew our worth.

Ah Strength , and let me elaborate , strength in knowledge as we would work and study to provide, strength in our physical makeup and we would build and labour for our families. We knew that as head of the house we had a responsibility to care and protect for God, family and country.
But today we find that most of our functions have been eroded or reassigned, and as men as a whole  I think that to no fault of our own we have been boxed like a 2011 Christmas toy only to be taken out to admire and later exchanged for a Multi functional household tool that can do lots of neat tricks but very few strength jobs.

Stop being a Parent and Listen

The other night I switched off the mobile and TV, and just sat with my teenage son and for first time simply listened to his day, he spoke about music, interesting sites he had visited, Facebook comments and I just listened I offered no advice nor judgment. Even being a teacher and working with teenagers for 15 years all day and every day I am constantly surprised how complex teenagers lives have become.

If you have a teenager you probably tried and in many cases failed to workout the complexities of your kids who seem to be on trial for their very existence by a jury of their peers through social media, sms’ and emails having to defend themselves from the onslaught of pokes, likes and anonymous tweets of the faceless internet 24/7.

Start listening and less judging, life for us as kids was a lot easier and far less complex, where bullying was left on the playground and you knew when you got home you were safe, our kids need us to be compassionate and caring, don’t force them to switch off their umbilical cord to their social world, but through discussion and by example show them the real meaning of life.

I took my kids to the beach; we bought ice cream and watched the sunset. That night we prayed for a better tomorrow.

A Life Lived vs A Photograph

I used to look across my desk at the silver framed photos of my family and think to myself how blessed I was that God had given me such an amazing family, and colleagues would comment on how lucky I was, as they admired the photos of the wife and kids. The problem, and for some of us the realization comes far too late in our lives that we just looking at photos.

We need to reevaluate our lives and think to ourselves what are we working for, is it the unfulfilled dream that someday we will have enough money to retire, and so what, our kids would have left the house, and you and your partner are going to be too old to explore the world anyway. Dont let life wrap you up and passed you by ? Why have kids if you dont get to experience life with them ? Make a change, life is too short, I spend 8 hours a day with my wife and kids, yes the pay is less but we have more and I’ve seen more of the world than anyone I know, create small financial goals and achievable dreams. Start by taking the kids on a day trip, make plans for a road trip and sit down with a financial planner a plan your retirement options.


Convert your thinking
Convert your thinking


Wild Horses

Wild horses is a great analogy for living together, when men and women move in together, there can only be three outcomes, the first being the woman takes the wild stalion and trys to turn him into “my little pony”, or the man trophies the woman but he still wants to run free, or and by far the most successful outcome they simply live on the same farm, with no other horses on the inside of the fence, but still allowing each other the room to run and get used to the idea, friends and family left to visiting from across the fence.

The reason men bolt or feel caged-in is the fact that for the first time they are answerable to someone else, who wants them to change immediately, look only in their direction and stop being what every cell in their bodies are telling them feels unnatural.

We know why we chose you as a partner, we want this lifestyle , so give us time to adjust and love you.

A Stranger In My Bed

Ever wake-up and stare at the stranger that lies peacefully sleeping next to you, now I say stranger not because you just had a one night stand with a woman you just met at the local pub/club, this stranger is usually the woman you’ve been married to or been dating for a couple of months and even sometimes years. We hate the fact that our wives get old, grumpy, frumpy, grey, and less patient with our failings, yes OUR failings.

Lets face it men have lots of insecurities even if they don’t admit, we want to believe that all woman find us attractive, and that we age better than woman, when we look in a mirror we see what we want to see and we allow our imaginations to fill-in and in many cases blur the signs of ageing.

I find a lot of the men I know who are separated or angry about life are usually because of the fact that they never achieved anything in their professional lives or havent  grown at the same pace as their wives, in maturity and mental image age.

In my younger years I was always taken by how different woman would look once they had removed their dating paint or clubbing masks, and allowed us men to see their real and personal sides.

If ever there was a Bible verse that you needed when married it would be Philippians 4:6. If you are a young married couple or even just trying to find your way through the prickly dating months you going to need to prayers.

There are three layers I believe for men to any relationship.

1 Prickly Dating weeks – men are selfish and we are only interested in the physical relationship.

2. Potting Months – men look for a woman we can spend time with, and find interesting.

3. Replanting years – A partner we choose to move in with and maybe kids.

She’s a Card

I recently came across this site “Men’s attraction to women’s bodies changes seasonally.” Believe it or not it was your body that started this relationship, a woman’s body is like a birthday card, men sit in newsagents all over the world and go through an age old ritual, they delicately take each card out and admire the cover and if that appeals to them, they usually excitedly flip the page to read the text, now sometimes the card has a intriguing picture that might suggest something different from the mundane Birthday Card, but it’s the card you read, that makes you laugh and sometimes cry, those are the ones you grow old with .

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