As I walked the long avenues of my local hardware store this morning I noticed I was the only guy in the store for one and the only person buying a hammer because it looked cool most customers were woman and buying practical items like locks and taps and it dawned on me.
What happened to when Men just used to be men, no matter what colour, religion or economic strata of society you’d come from in the past men had a place we knew our worth.
Ah Strength , and let me elaborate , strength in knowledge as we would work and study to provide, strength in our physical makeup and we would build and labour for our families. We knew that as head of the house we had a responsibility to care and protect for God, family and country.
But today we find that most of our functions have been eroded or reassigned, and as men as a whole I think that to no fault of our own we have been boxed like a 2011 Christmas toy only to be taken out to admire and later exchanged for a Multi functional household tool that can do lots of neat tricks but very few strength jobs.
Ever drive to work and have a look into the other cars and try and see how many people are happy, I did this very experiment the other day and was surprised that I only managed to count a handful of people who looked like they were happy . I wonder how many people in their 40’s feel trapped and unhappy about where life has brought them. It’s seems like a no brainer that if you are unhappy at work and with your chosen career make a change, rearrange the budget and take a night course in a field on interest or simply change jobs. It might even be the environment or people you work with are the root of your unhappiness, check the job listings go where you’re welcome and appreciated.
Life is too short !
It’s never too late to be happy, some of the happiest people I know flip burger patties and live a quality not quantity life. Keep in mind that most qualifications can be done in 2 years, that means after qualifying and if you’re in your 40’s you will still have 25 years give or take of work ahead of you, in a career choice you going to enjoy.
Movie Idea : Plans don’t work out the way you thought they would, you don’t lose your job only to bounce back and become a overnight success, you just take any job that will pay the bills. If your car breaks down you’re on your own, and it’s going to cost you. Most people (supporting actors) look pretty average looking on the movie set and your partner loves you because she saw something in you that nobody was bothered to look for.
In the end you’re poor from tax, kids and bills, the kids have returned to the nest after you paid for a college degree and you’re going to end up baby sitting their kids.
The credits rolls with you sitting on a porch of a house you still dont own and not on the luxury cruise you were promised by your investment broker.
“It’s not too late to change your life and rewrite the ending” – Nicholas E
In every relationship there are special moments, moments that only two people who love each other would understand, a glance, footsie on the couch, a soft word blown in the ear while shaving. A connection that can only be explained as special, but we sometimes share too much with other people outside of our relationships which leads to influences who where not there when you met nor the first night you kissed, who don’t understand the feeling you felt the first time your eyes locked. Our friends should never be allowed to navigate our ship they should be there to support and listen.
Don’t erode that special connection between you and your partner, if your relationships trust has been eroded and other people are over staying their welcome, then stop and change, take a time out. I have found that on a few occasions my wife and I have just needed a weekend away to regenerate, to get away from all the static noise and sometimes to remember what we first saw in each other.
“Relationships dont always make sense. Especially from the outside”
― Sarah Dessen, Along for the Ride
The three most important words you will ever need in a relationship, in your religion, and in yourself is “I Trust You”
If you love her trust that she will always put you first and by doing this you will be caught when you fall, you will be cared for when you are sick, and when you and your partner are old fogeys sitting on the porch 50 years from now the foundational seeds of your love would have had their roots from seeds called TRUST.
Relationships start with two pods that float together and find a small sidewalk crack to call a home. Mathematically and through impossible odds they should never meet by chance, but they do, you do and when you do don’t let go hold on tight, it’s an amazing ride if you LOVE, TRUST and CATCH each other when you fall.
I really can’t tell you, the number of times my wife has told me a story or explained a shopping list, only to have me bring home the wrong groceries or embarrass her at diner parties when I retell a story that I was not suppose to or worse incorrectly.
Men generally need simple facts, a simple shopping list without the recipe and don’t send us shopping on an empty stomach (we tend to buy anything that looks appetising ), we also tend not to notice the subtle innuendoes or markers that you say you had incorporate into a story that we should have picked up on.
If you need a hug tell us, if you need to talk about a friend or work issue, don’t wait for us to read into your sighs and deep breaths. If you need space or don’t want to cuddle tell us, men have two settings when it comes to love on and off, we are only too happy to accomodate all your needs if you communicate them directly.
One of the saddest statements I ever heard as a teacher was “my parents don’t love me!”, if you think that being head of the house requires that your loyal subjects need to make an appointment to speak with you, you are very wrong.
If anything it means you need to kneel below your family and understand their needs and issues. How many men come from a file I like to call “Understanding of the Macho Male Image”, the days when children should be seen and not heard should be laid to rest like Communism. We need to grow-up start moulding your own home and stop all the negative influences.
It’s never too late to tell your kids that you love them, and show them respect provided they too undersand that this is very much a two way street.