It’s not unreasonable to think that marriage for men is 70% physical and 30% emotional and for woman the opposite. What woman sometimes fail to understand is that most men whether they want to admit it or not, are selfish creatures, we like to have our cake and eat it and then still look at the desert menu after we’ve eaten our cake.
I know for a fact that most of my decisions are based on me first, I must thank God for my wife whom through tolerance and love goes with my impulse purchases and midlife idiosyncrasies.
I think the key to a happy marriage is love enough to allow the other person to realize their mistakes and be understanding enough to know we are not the same, and intelligent enough to know that together we are perfect .
I had been whining to my wife that I feel exhausted and lethargic, she sent me off to the doctor and his words were simple “Bloody Change your Lifestyle!” or sit in a hospital bed at 50 .
You can keep telling yourself that you will start the diet on monday, or go back to gym on wednesday, but the fact of the matter is that if you don’t partner up with a mate or a trainer to push you and make you feel obliged to go, you just not going to go. Why wait until you sick and bed ridden to make a change.
We always want to write that book or change our lifestyle, but reality is nobody (normal) feels like coming back home from work and getting changed to hurt your body or opening the laptop to start chapter one, but when is going to be the right time?
If you are anything like me the abs have turned into the flabs and the youthful feeling of aches has turned into is that a heart attack coming on.
I am going to take control today, and just by the way I wrote two chapters last night.
As I walked the long avenues of my local hardware store this morning I noticed I was the only guy in the store for one and the only person buying a hammer because it looked cool most customers were woman and buying practical items like locks and taps and it dawned on me.
What happened to when Men just used to be men, no matter what colour, religion or economic strata of society you’d come from in the past men had a place we knew our worth.
Ah Strength , and let me elaborate , strength in knowledge as we would work and study to provide, strength in our physical makeup and we would build and labour for our families. We knew that as head of the house we had a responsibility to care and protect for God, family and country.
But today we find that most of our functions have been eroded or reassigned, and as men as a whole I think that to no fault of our own we have been boxed like a 2011 Christmas toy only to be taken out to admire and later exchanged for a Multi functional household tool that can do lots of neat tricks but very few strength jobs.
Ever drive to work and have a look into the other cars and try and see how many people are happy, I did this very experiment the other day and was surprised that I only managed to count a handful of people who looked like they were happy . I wonder how many people in their 40’s feel trapped and unhappy about where life has brought them. It’s seems like a no brainer that if you are unhappy at work and with your chosen career make a change, rearrange the budget and take a night course in a field on interest or simply change jobs. It might even be the environment or people you work with are the root of your unhappiness, check the job listings go where you’re welcome and appreciated.
Life is too short !
It’s never too late to be happy, some of the happiest people I know flip burger patties and live a quality not quantity life. Keep in mind that most qualifications can be done in 2 years, that means after qualifying and if you’re in your 40’s you will still have 25 years give or take of work ahead of you, in a career choice you going to enjoy.
Movie Idea : Plans don’t work out the way you thought they would, you don’t lose your job only to bounce back and become a overnight success, you just take any job that will pay the bills. If your car breaks down you’re on your own, and it’s going to cost you. Most people (supporting actors) look pretty average looking on the movie set and your partner loves you because she saw something in you that nobody was bothered to look for.
In the end you’re poor from tax, kids and bills, the kids have returned to the nest after you paid for a college degree and you’re going to end up baby sitting their kids.
The credits rolls with you sitting on a porch of a house you still dont own and not on the luxury cruise you were promised by your investment broker.
“It’s not too late to change your life and rewrite the ending” – Nicholas E
The three most important words you will ever need in a relationship, in your religion, and in yourself is “I Trust You”
If you love her trust that she will always put you first and by doing this you will be caught when you fall, you will be cared for when you are sick, and when you and your partner are old fogeys sitting on the porch 50 years from now the foundational seeds of your love would have had their roots from seeds called TRUST.
Relationships start with two pods that float together and find a small sidewalk crack to call a home. Mathematically and through impossible odds they should never meet by chance, but they do, you do and when you do don’t let go hold on tight, it’s an amazing ride if you LOVE, TRUST and CATCH each other when you fall.
One of the saddest statements I ever heard as a teacher was “my parents don’t love me!”, if you think that being head of the house requires that your loyal subjects need to make an appointment to speak with you, you are very wrong.
If anything it means you need to kneel below your family and understand their needs and issues. How many men come from a file I like to call “Understanding of the Macho Male Image”, the days when children should be seen and not heard should be laid to rest like Communism. We need to grow-up start moulding your own home and stop all the negative influences.
It’s never too late to tell your kids that you love them, and show them respect provided they too undersand that this is very much a two way street.
I sat outside last night, we got the deck chairs and downloaded star walk and there dad and kids sat gazing at the universe.
The first thing to remember is you going to get somethings wrong, the key to being a good parent is simple ,love your children, understand that they going to be disappointed but be there to hold them, listen when they don’t speak and pay attention when they do, cry together, laugh with your belly , wear a funny hat to dinner and sympathise as if you were 14 again.
Life is not easy for kids who are constantly bombarded by adult content, we ask them to understand divorce or moving house, changing schools to accomodate a parents job, but how times do we ask them how they feel ?
We need to cherish the gifts God has given us, take a walk, discuss the stars, play a game of catch, water the plants, choose a song to buy.
One of the most fascinating aspects of our lives is we work to provide for our kids and in return we never get to know our kids because of work. I sometimes feel like the song “We are running”
The funny thing about traffic jams, is they tend to be the great leveller in life, for no matter what type of car you drive, or how much you earn we are all in it together, and going to go through the same experience of stop start until the impasse. They also tend to bring out a persons true personality we get the impatient, angry and layback and then there is the majority the “us”, the poor sods who accept their fate in life, we sit in our cars worry about being late, how our teenage kids are doing in school, how to resolve the monday morning argument you had with your spouse over finance, the people who dont jump the queues, the moms and dads who save coupons and live for seventy odd years only to have a one liner chiselled onto our grave stones. “Here lies _____ they lived an unfulfilled life, month to month.”
It’s time to look around and squeeze a little more juice out of the lemon you’ve been given, book a holiday, save some money, take your children on a fishing trip, book a cruise with the family. First start the day by climbing out of bed on the other side. Make a conscious decision to change your life by first changing the small things, start by throwing away the bland coffee cup you take to work, buy some new shirts, get a haircut. Then begin to plan the larger changes, cut out some images of a new house, car, exotic holiday place them on your desktop and start to build your dream by investing in yourself.
Open a secret bank account, sell all the crap you have collected that collects dust and eBay it . Let you grave site rather say “Here lies _____ they died on a beach in the Maldives”
If you ever sat in a traffic jam and wondered that there has to be something more you’re right!