It’s not unreasonable to think that marriage for men is 70% physical and 30% emotional and for woman the opposite. What woman sometimes fail to understand is that most men whether they want to admit it or not, are selfish creatures, we like to have our cake and eat it and then still look at the desert menu after we’ve eaten our cake.
I know for a fact that most of my decisions are based on me first, I must thank God for my wife whom through tolerance and love goes with my impulse purchases and midlife idiosyncrasies.
I think the key to a happy marriage is love enough to allow the other person to realize their mistakes and be understanding enough to know we are not the same, and intelligent enough to know that together we are perfect .
As I walked the long avenues of my local hardware store this morning I noticed I was the only guy in the store for one and the only person buying a hammer because it looked cool most customers were woman and buying practical items like locks and taps and it dawned on me.
What happened to when Men just used to be men, no matter what colour, religion or economic strata of society you’d come from in the past men had a place we knew our worth.
Ah Strength , and let me elaborate , strength in knowledge as we would work and study to provide, strength in our physical makeup and we would build and labour for our families. We knew that as head of the house we had a responsibility to care and protect for God, family and country.
But today we find that most of our functions have been eroded or reassigned, and as men as a whole I think that to no fault of our own we have been boxed like a 2011 Christmas toy only to be taken out to admire and later exchanged for a Multi functional household tool that can do lots of neat tricks but very few strength jobs.
The three most important words you will ever need in a relationship, in your religion, and in yourself is “I Trust You”
If you love her trust that she will always put you first and by doing this you will be caught when you fall, you will be cared for when you are sick, and when you and your partner are old fogeys sitting on the porch 50 years from now the foundational seeds of your love would have had their roots from seeds called TRUST.
Relationships start with two pods that float together and find a small sidewalk crack to call a home. Mathematically and through impossible odds they should never meet by chance, but they do, you do and when you do don’t let go hold on tight, it’s an amazing ride if you LOVE, TRUST and CATCH each other when you fall.
I sat outside last night, we got the deck chairs and downloaded star walk and there dad and kids sat gazing at the universe.
The first thing to remember is you going to get somethings wrong, the key to being a good parent is simple ,love your children, understand that they going to be disappointed but be there to hold them, listen when they don’t speak and pay attention when they do, cry together, laugh with your belly , wear a funny hat to dinner and sympathise as if you were 14 again.
Life is not easy for kids who are constantly bombarded by adult content, we ask them to understand divorce or moving house, changing schools to accomodate a parents job, but how times do we ask them how they feel ?
We need to cherish the gifts God has given us, take a walk, discuss the stars, play a game of catch, water the plants, choose a song to buy.
One of the most fascinating aspects of our lives is we work to provide for our kids and in return we never get to know our kids because of work. I sometimes feel like the song “We are running”
The funny thing about traffic jams, is they tend to be the great leveller in life, for no matter what type of car you drive, or how much you earn we are all in it together, and going to go through the same experience of stop start until the impasse. They also tend to bring out a persons true personality we get the impatient, angry and layback and then there is the majority the “us”, the poor sods who accept their fate in life, we sit in our cars worry about being late, how our teenage kids are doing in school, how to resolve the monday morning argument you had with your spouse over finance, the people who dont jump the queues, the moms and dads who save coupons and live for seventy odd years only to have a one liner chiselled onto our grave stones. “Here lies _____ they lived an unfulfilled life, month to month.”
It’s time to look around and squeeze a little more juice out of the lemon you’ve been given, book a holiday, save some money, take your children on a fishing trip, book a cruise with the family. First start the day by climbing out of bed on the other side. Make a conscious decision to change your life by first changing the small things, start by throwing away the bland coffee cup you take to work, buy some new shirts, get a haircut. Then begin to plan the larger changes, cut out some images of a new house, car, exotic holiday place them on your desktop and start to build your dream by investing in yourself.
Open a secret bank account, sell all the crap you have collected that collects dust and eBay it . Let you grave site rather say “Here lies _____ they died on a beach in the Maldives”
If you ever sat in a traffic jam and wondered that there has to be something more you’re right!
What does our partner see in us ? Using the bathroom scale and looking in the mirror is always a great reality check. The other day I watched a show with a guy who had changed his life through weight loss suplements and had made millions through mail orders not to mention the get rich quick schemes that investors stand to make 40% return on their money. CRAP all of it. We get old and if you have kids you get poor, stressed and overweight all at the same time.
I am sick to death of these quick fix programs from weight loss to financial freedom, not to mention the get rich bastards who prey on the desperate and vulnerable. I’ve decided that no goal is achieved without hard work, you have to walk and workout, save money to make money, but slowly and patiently.
Life is about quality, happiness and what ever you consider you need to be in your confort zone is what you need to achieve. The other day all I needed was some fish wrapped in newspaper and soft chips and sitting on the beach with my family. God could have taken me then. The lesson I think is one coffin does not fit all, when you get to the end of your life which just might be today how would you have lived today differently .
January is all done and dusted, and if you have started the year running like most of us working people (robots) who earn just enough to float above the debt collectors and bank phone calls, then you probably have spent the last four weeks blurry eyed trying to make out what that 11pm sms or email to your phone says.
Well stop for a second and try to remember what your wife dressed in yesterday and what the name of your kids teachers are? I thought so because I have no idea either , you got to stop for a second and just ask yourself the question who or rather for what are your working for. The answer should be the family and a quality of life, sadly Work and Quality of life very rarely go together, so you need to make the weekends count.
Plan your Saturday and Sunday, goto church and take the family for a drive, surprise them with a Drive-Inn movie or Mountain walk or a packed picnic with Cheese and Wine. Get out the iPhone and snap some shots with the kids and wife. Take the time to sit with each kid and get a little insight into their lives, give them a hug, and let them know you care.
Wild horses is a great analogy for living together, when men and women move in together, there can only be three outcomes, the first being the woman takes the wild stalion and trys to turn him into “my little pony”, or the man trophies the woman but he still wants to run free, or and by far the most successful outcome they simply live on the same farm, with no other horses on the inside of the fence, but still allowing each other the room to run and get used to the idea, friends and family left to visiting from across the fence.
The reason men bolt or feel caged-in is the fact that for the first time they are answerable to someone else, who wants them to change immediately, look only in their direction and stop being what every cell in their bodies are telling them feels unnatural.
We know why we chose you as a partner, we want this lifestyle , so give us time to adjust and love you.
Ever look in the mirror and get the feeling that somewhere along the line you took a wrong turn. I woke up this morning staggered into the bathroom and started to shave and as I placed the razor on the side of the sink I noticed a stranger looking back. One argument too many, bills, kids, insurance, mortgage and work will age a man. If you feel like life needs a reboot take your wife on a weekend getaway, talk on the road and reboot old flames. Dont allow yourself to become that stranger looking back at you in the mirror.
Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.