New Years but Old Boxes

This is a great time of the year to sort out some of the old boxes in the mental attic, take this time to put things on the table, don’t enter into a new year with old wounds. Don’t allow old arguments or personal irritations to follow your relationship into the new year. Sit down with your partner and make a list, talk about changes you both would like to see happen in the new year, and in some cases is it worth going into the new year as a couple.

I know this sounds harsh, but not all relationships just miraculously will fix themselves, you are both doing yourselves and those around you no favours if you don’t tell each other what it is that you would like to see change. I have said it a number of times men are simple folk, we sometimes don’t know that what we doing might be irritating or bothering you.

Make that kiss at midnight one of passion but at the same time let it be a seal of a promise to forget old arguments and not bring them up in the new year and to allow change to take place in order to save this relationship.

God Bless and Happy New year to all.

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Wherever the destinations may be, is entirely up to you.

Marriage is an incredible journey, the fantastic thing about this journey is you have no idea where you will end up in the future. How many young couples enter into marriage based on short term ideals or imagery yes imagery, understand that no matter how much money, medical procedures or special teas you drink the woman you married is going to get old and have no illusion your buff chest wont last forever. You need to know that your husband is going to leave bad smells in the bathroom and is probably going to leave underwear on the floor. Get used to the idea that we get old, fat and wrinkled, but together.

We going to fight, some inconsequential, some pretty important, but these arguments are going to shape the valley we call married life, when it comes to arguing the important rule to remember is trying to not go to bed before a resolution or a solution and most definitely a sorry has been reached, I have learnt that it takes a mature, large, and in love partner to know when you’re wrong and to say sorry.

No one said life is easy, Kids are hard work, Marriage is hard work, falling in love is easy but staying in love like an old tattoo takes commitment.

Schedule a Date Night

Ever have one of those weeks, when you wish the world would stop and let you off. Marriage for a man and I’m sure many woman can be that sort of merry go round sometimes when we go from kids to work to parental duties and so on. One of the most important aspects of any marriage I believe is “space”. Let me elaborate, when you wife needs time with her girlfriends to go shopping and lattes or have her hair done or play a sport, give her space. When men need to play golf, watch TV, go fishing or time to act like idiots with the boys, give us our space. But sometimes as a couple we need to share no reserve a “space” from the world,  “Date Night“. A night when you can be a couple, reminisce about the good days, talk about all the magical moments that brought you together and what you as a couple have achieved together.

For the evening to be a success make sure you plan the evening together, wear a suit, buy flowers, book an expensive restaurant, make sure the kids are at friends.

Don’t take away independence, make sure you incorporate it into your marriage.

 

Before I die Photo- Check and done
Before I die Photo- Check and done

A man can’t know what is to be a woman

If you think we were being insensitive as men, when you come home after having a bad day and we did not pick up on it, it’s because we simply dont look for complications or we are tired too or maybe we had a bad day, the bills are stressing us out or we havent eaten, we need the bathroom, there is something interesting on tv, the ball is in the air and about to be touched down, go through the hoop and we are sorry. We would like you to tell us you’ve had a bad day, and leave out the details. Men simply dont care about the dynamics of all the personalities that work in your office. We do however care about you, and by pouring a glass of wine settling in for a cuddle on the couch is something we do well. The idea that we need to be on the same emotional plain as you is ridiculous, we are however in the same house and by not expecting men to understand menstruating cramps, or the sensation of feeling bloated, can do wonders for any relationship.

 

She’s a Card

I recently came across this site “Men’s attraction to women’s bodies changes seasonally.” Believe it or not it was your body that started this relationship, a woman’s body is like a birthday card, men sit in newsagents all over the world and go through an age old ritual, they delicately take each card out and admire the cover and if that appeals to them, they usually excitedly flip the page to read the text, now sometimes the card has a intriguing picture that might suggest something different from the mundane Birthday Card, but it’s the card you read, that makes you laugh and sometimes cry, those are the ones you grow old with .

If he’s cheap he won’t change

A man rarely changes his spots, if he’s cheap and your first date is a Mc Donalds drive through, you probably going to end up in a caravan park alone or worse supporting a “husbchild” ( half man half child). Don’t be fooled by his boyish good looks and being the centre of the party at college level. A real man is usually the quietly confident character having conversation on the balcony and is always dressed for the occasion, wether it’s sandals and a pair of billabong shorts and a T-shirt at the beach/pool or a dinner suit at  restaurant.

If you looking for a life partner, forget the pages of facebook or cosmos find the perfect man survey, all you need to do is find a guy who has the generally similarly interestes and no  they don’t have to be necessarily identically to yours, we are quite happy to sit and watch a tennis game or take in an art gallery. A simple rule is to start with a man who has clean shoes.

We don’t grow on trees, so when you find one of us don’t hold back we don’t understand woman, who play games like playing hard to get, simple is far better. Tell us what you want from the start of the relationship and most men will tell you wether they want something serious or not. Just a hint if there is no “I love you” early on, he is probably just trying to get lucky, and it’s quite normal to not to want to snuggle after every and anything (you work it out!)

A long Coffee or a short Latte
A long Coffee or a short Latte

I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t.
Martha Quinn

Support your marriage
Support your Marriage


Men need to feel in control, if you take that away from us we no longer feel like the head of the house. Most men are not male chauvinists pigs, we understand the fact that a relationship is 50/ 50 and sometimes 80 / 20 (either way). Undertand a mans brain, if you want us to think or feel what you feeling, tell us, show us, draw a picture, but by trying to dominate the relationship and make everything equatable you belittle the man in your life, not to mention you inflate resentment at the same time.

Love being a wife, have a career, study just don’t step on us as you do it we would rather carry you on our shoulders in support.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton

A Man Shopping

Please make a list of the items that we need as we mention them, we are not going to remember these items when you need to go shopping, also please understand that if we go shopping hungry we going to buy anything and everything that looks like food. Shopping is not an outing, nor do we want to get together with friends for chai latte afterwards to discuss what we’ve bought. We need a plan get in get out, mission accomplished if you need it put it on the list, including size and colour.

Christmas shopping should be done early in the morning, parking is easy, there are an abundance of trolleys, no kids are screaming and the food court is empty.  So as to avoid us going mad as we bump , trip over and squeeze through endless queues of woman waiting for sale items, leave us at home for items that dont need us to wear, pay for or carry.

If you love us, leave us ans set yourself free, we will be right where you left us when you return. Oh don’t leave a list of things to do because you feel this balances things out, ask a man if he can and nine times out of ten we will, clean the shed, pack the dishes and cleanup the backyard.

 

 

Who runs the castle

I can’t imagine that anything has changed from the cavemen till now, we men go out do some hunting and come back to the cave to relax. It’s the one area of our lives that were we feel like that kid who stands at the top of the hill and controls the game “king of the castle”. We don’t like to be knocked down, we didn’t go into marriage to be controlled and have our masculinity slowly removed and replaced with a feminine version of ourselves . Each little pick, decision you make, room you reorganise, item you remove and argument you have to win, will only chip away at the rock you call a relationship.

A man wants to at least feel like he runs the castle, we know you do but don’t tell us. Let us think that some of the ideas behind the drapes and furniture was our idea. Every man wants a corner of the house where he can be himself no matter how crass or unrefined, put us in the shed if you must but allow us to express some of that raw caveman mentality. No matter what type of man, we all love to come home get onto that lazy boy turn the TV on and watch something that takes very little grey matter to understand.

All men go to work and do what they do, we sometimes choose the career and in other cases it chooses us, but understand we chose you the way you are and you fell in love with who we are.

The last outpost for some men
The last outpost for some men

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